


personal growth

by marveltea



Category: Star Trek
Genre: Chess, Falling In Love, Fluff, M/M, One Shot, Personal Growth, fast paced, passing of time, writing prompt: personal growth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-11
Updated: 2020-04-11
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:48:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23589421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marveltea/pseuds/marveltea
Summary: A small spirk one shot, based upon the prompt 'personal growth' from my friend's lovely discord server--Spock is assigned to be commander of the Starship Enterprise, to work along side Captain James T. Kirk. That's all it was supposed to be. He never expected that the five years spent with him would change his life forever.orSpock might believe in luck, depending on the situation.
Relationships: James T. Kirk/Spock
Comments: 1
Kudos: 32





	personal growth

**Author's Note:**

  * For [my favorite snail; finn](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=my+favorite+snail%3B+finn).



"Commander Spock."

He delicately lifted his hand, splitting his fingers apart to salute, as he spoke in his usual cold voice, introducing himself to the man in front of him. His eye's were piercing into his own, as he spoke. They were soft, blue, hiding history behind them. Spock couldn't help but think of the stories behind those eyes and what they might hold. An illogical way of thinking. He is here to do his job, therefore that will be his last unnecessary thought of the captain. He straightened up, positioned that some have called his 'robotic posture.' "I look forward to working along side you, Captain." He stated, with the same tone he held before. The other beamed, and instead of offering his hand, like others would make the mistake of, he lifted his hand into his own Vulcan salute. Perhaps other Vulcans wouldn't had taken mind, but he was glad he didn't have to stand there, awkwardly declining a handshake, for reasons the captain, was most definitely aware of. "Jim Kirk. Glad to have you part of the crew, Spock." Jim gave him a soft smile, to which he didn't return, but neither of them took offense to it. 

Jim carried on the conversation, talking about how exciting the mission was going to be, and the others he would be working along side. Spock, would stay silent, as he talked. He didn't know how to respond to most of the things he went on about, as he talked about the mission with much enthusiasm that Spock simply did not know how to match. "So, you think you're going to have fun up there, in the unknown?" Jim said. Spock took a second to collect what he was going to respond with. "With all due respect, Captain, I am here to study and record are findings of all we discover, I am strictly here to carry on my primary role as second-in-command and head scientist. If that would your definition of fun, then," He took a pause, having trouble finding the words to end his statement. "That would be desired." He continued. Jim stared into his eyes again, like he had a response, that only he could hear, and didn't bother saying aloud. Jim left it alone, and continued on with his one sided conversation with him. He much preferred it that way. 

* * * * 

It had been a couple months into deep space, surrounded by unfamiliar celestials. Spock was in the common room alone, reading away on his padd, gathering information of the planet they were due to land on next, up until the captain walked in with lieutenant Uhura. It would seem the lieutenant had said something humorous to Jim, as he was was absolutely beaming with laughter, leaving Spock curious as to what they were talking about, but unnecessary entirely to ask. They didn't notice his presence up until the point where Jim enthusiastically stated his name, "Spock! Pleasure to see you here, normally you're in the science labs." Which wasn't true, this was one of the more empty rooms, leaving him to read in peace, aside from his own room of course. "Captain. Exceptional for you to be here as well, normally you're on the deck, where your job is done in this hour" He said with his normal dead tone, setting down his padd. He presented himself expressionless, but he was afraid he might have gone too far with that comment, and that perhaps the doctors attitudes towards the captain was rubbing off on him. "Was that sass, mister Spock?" Jim replied, seemingly amused with Spocks comment. "Apologizes." He was being unprofessional and inappropriate for sure. "No, you're alright, Spock, you're right, I should be on duty right now, Scotty's taking over for me right now, I took an early break and Nyota here was just telling me a story about her little sister back home." Jim smiled, must've been thinking of the previous conversation. "You might be taking an early break, but I'm afraid I'm not, so I might have to split." Uhura replied. She waved them both off, and left Spock and the Captain alone. The captain walked up to the food replicator near the wall next to where Spock was sitting. "I hope you don't mind if I join you Spock, unless, of course you are set on silence reading." Jim took a bowl from the replicator and awaited Spocks response. In any other situation, he would prefer the silence, but the back of his mind told him that he shouldn't care, and that spending quality time with the captain is something he should do, and allow. "Acceptable. You may sit, if you please, Captain." Spock offered the seat in front of him, which Jim gladly took.

"Please Spock, its Jim. We've known each other long enough." Jim said, taking his spoon to his soup. "Jim.." Spock said repeated, if not to Jim, but to himself. Jim smirked to himself, and took a bite of his soup. They both sat there in a comfortable silence, occupied by eating, and Spock reading. Until Jim broke the silence after another spoonful of his soup. "This doesn't taste that good. Unfortunately the few things aboard that I'm not allergic to." He chuckled. The chuckle rang through Spocks mind. "I could eat something else, despite my allergies, but I'm pretty sure Bones would have my head," He took another spoonful to his lips. This time, Spock looked up from his padd to glance at his actions. "I do believe that would also be highly unwise if you ate what could hurt you, surely." That resulted in another soft chuckle from the captain. "But some foods are so good, I mean, have you tried pizza? I can't believe I'm allergic to cheese." They went back to silence. Unlike others Spock has met, the silence between himself and the captain, never was unpleasant, or awkward. It felt natural. Spock was comfortable, even if the silence was broken by Jim's rambles. If anything, he might've liked Jim's ramblings more than the silence, but there would never be time he's admit it. "I have not." Spock broke the silence this time. "Hmm?" Kirk replied with the spoon in his mouth. "I have not tried 'pizza' before. Nor have I heard of such a meal." 

"Spock, my friend, you're going to have to try it. Both of us couldn't miss out on pizza could we?" 

Spock stared back at Jim, as he continued to finish his dish. Spock continued to read his reports, but this time he was having a more difficult time concentrating on the words in front of him, when Jim's words were rushing through his mind. He had called him his friend. 

* * * * 

"Would you join me for a game of chess, Jim?" 

Spock had asked the captain, who was walking aside him along the halls of the enterprise. It had been a long day for the crew of the starship, as they were attacked by an alien ship that didn't even realize they were passing by in peace. The engineers were working themselves off, fixing damages, while doctors helped the injured. The rest were helping in any other way possible, hours passed, and here the two were finally catching a break. "That would be adequate." Jim mocked Spocks tone, but with the amount of time spent together, Spock knew there was no real venom behind his words. 

The two of them went to one of the halls, where a 3-D chessboard could be found. The two of them were no strangers to this particular chessboard, as they would both come to play a game after a long stressful day, or even a day full of excitement and adventure. This was their chessboard, with their memories. They started their game, plucking the pieces and strategically moving them across the board. Spock enjoyed playing with Jim, as he's the only human he'd ever come across that have had a close balance of wins and loses. "Is your shoulder okay? I know you're considerably stronger than I am, but you looked like you bashed it pretty hard on the wall earlier." Jim asked Spock with concern. During the attack, a firearm was shot at the ship, that was large enough to have backlash on the entire ship. It knocked plenty of the crew members back, and Spock was lucky enough to use his shoulder to block his head from most of the crash on the wall. McCoy had checked him for broken bones, but he assured them both he had been fine. "The doctor stated that no bones have been broken Jim, and you have heard from both of us that I am fine." Spock replied. "I know. Just making sure." 

"As you were making sure the previous four times?" Spock raised his eyebrow in a way that was too familiar to Jim. 

"I'm just making sure the safety of my first officer, Spock." He huffed. 

"I am fine. As I have always been, the past two years of life threatening missions we have faced, Jim." He responded, moving his rook to Jim's side of the board. Jim looked like he had a reply, but alas, he kept it to himself, and moved his pawn. Spock couldn't help but notice his captain was under stress. Had it been from today's mishap, or their conversation. "Something's on your mind." Spock stated, instead of asking. Jim stayed silent, seemingly thinking of a response, similar to what Spock did when he couldn't think of something to say on the spot. 

He moved his piece. 

It was Jim's turn, but he was in his own head right now. 

"What if one day, you're not as lucky. The days pass, more dangerous missions are completed, we live another day, but what if our luck runs out?" Jim paused. Spock took in what Jim had to say, he was correct, in a way. It was unlike Jim to bring the pessimistic side of things. Perhaps the attack today stressed him unlike others? Spock was insured, sure, but he's experienced debatably worse. "We've lost people Spock. Not today, we got lucky today, nobody was killed. That's a rarity both you and I know. You were hurt today.." Jim breathed deeply. Moving his piece. 

"I assure you, I'm fine." Spock could only reply with. He didn't know what he could reply with. He wasn't really one for words of comfort, but was he willing to try? Of course. "I have never believed in luck, Jim," He paused as he moved his piece into a spot the left him in check. He looked up from the board to glance at Jim. "Therefore I wouldn't blame luck for the fates of lives." Jim killed his piece, saving the game a little longer. "Luck is never to blame when it comes to life or death, what happened today was an unfortunate scene of events that none of us could of predicted. That doesn't necessarily mean it was unlucky." Spock paused, again, moving his chess piece. "Every action every being holds has consequences, whether it be random or perfectly planned out, no one can perfectly tell. It's not due to luck." 

"It seems you think on this subject often Spock." Jim moved his piece, leaving him on check. Jim looked up from the board, their eyes meeting once again. Jim's deep blue eyes, almost staring into Spock's soul. "Not often," He replied. 

The silence continued on, as they continued on throughout their game. Until, once again, the silence was broken. This time, not by Jim but by Spock. "There has only been one moment in my life, that I believed in luck, even if for a brief second," Spock said. It caught Jim's attention, surely. "The day before we met. I was given a choice," He paused, thinking over the chessboard, as they still were in the game."I could pursue my intentions of space travel, through studies no Vulcan has before, or get a spot into the much desired,Vulcan Science Academy that I worked very hard to achieve," Spock let out a breath, as he paused again. "I of course, chose the Enterprise, an illogical decision, but one I decided. And I haven't an ounce of regret, as traveling and working along side you had changed my life, Jim. Perhaps it was a lucky choice I had made," 

Jim was almost awestruck, in a way. He stayed silent, his eyes, still on his. "So if I died, my dear Captain, it wouldn't be due to luck. If I had to take an educated guess, I wouldn't die because I was unlucky, I died knowing I had someone to die for, and my actions would lead me there." 

"Do you really mean that, Spock?" 

"Vulcan's do not lie." Maybe he couldn't control himself, or his emotions were getting to him, but when his hand went out to move his bishop towards Jim's side of the table, after he released the piece, his hand didn't stop there, he placed it on top of Jim's hand which was resting upon the tabletop, and a twinge of energy spread to them both at the touch. And with the lifetime of suppressing his smiles, leaving him expressionless, he felt his lips twinge upwards, ever so slightly into the softest smile, and even that was more than enough for the captain to catch on. The captain reached over the chessboard, hands still held, as he closed the gap between them, and placed a small kiss on the Vulcans lips. The amount of touch was a lot for Spock, even if very little for human standards. Very new too. But he was in no way complaining, as all of the things he has learned throughout his life, on forcing emotion out of him, he let Jim drain every single Vulcan moral out of him, as he melted into the kiss. 

Maybe he did hit his head earlier, because he was acting way out of professional lines, but something inside him didn't let him allow to care. They broke the kiss, and Spock opened his eyes, which left him a beautiful view of Jim's eyes. He hadn't seen them this up close before. They were beautiful. Two years ago, people would have called him an emotionless robot. A program, awaiting orders. But he didn't feel that way anymore. These eyes he stared deeply into, made him _want_ to feel.

Whether the day he chose to be by Jim's side was a work of luck or fate, he couldn't seem to care. Whatever it was, changed him for the better. He accepted the fact that his time on the Enterprise made him realize that he was his own person, and others around him helped him find himself. Jim helped him find himself. He has much to learn about emotions, of course, but he's glad to find help with the most desired, precious emotion of all.

"Two years was totally worth the wait for a kiss like that." Jim paused. "Please tell me I'm allowed to do that again." 

Spock brought his hand to meet his other that was already holding Jim's, just holding Jim's hand ever so softly with the both of his. And this time, Spock closed the space between them. 

_fin_

**Author's Note:**

> look this fic is a mess n im super gay sorry i dont know what this is its kind of all over the place and im bad at writing okay bYE SORRY


End file.
